Archive for ‘A Quick Word from The Bible’
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Well, the move is finally done. All that’s left is giving credit where credit is due.
Thank you Frank Jr for sacrificing your days off to help us with all these “little” remodeling projects. We appreciate all the hard work you put in moving our closet, putting in the floors, assembling our shower, fixing our front door and everything else you did.
Thank you, Danee, for your help with the wood floors and unloading us into the storage unit. And for whatever awesome house-related birthday gift you have for Donna.
Thank you, Frank Sr. The help you gave us with the fans and bookcase wall, hanging the new light was invaluable and appreciated.
Thank you Diana for assembling our futons. I literally could not have done that. Those directions made no sense.
Thank you, Darleen, for painting those doors and leaving your special mark on the walls.
Thank you, Dan and Amanda for going far above and beyond what you needed to do. You not only helped us unload the Uhaul into the storage unit, but you helped us load everything back into the Uhaul from that very same storage unit and then unload into our home. And then, you also volunteered your time during this past week to assist with projects around the house. Truly above and beyond.
And finally, last, but certainly not least, Gary and Donielle. Thank you for opening your home to Donna and I for these last 24 days. We know it may not been easy having two extra people in your home(or maybe it was. Donna does like to fold laundry a lot), but having a place to rest our heads during this crazy time was a huge relief. Thank you so much for that. And we appreciated all the lawyer help as well. 
We appreciated the painting, and moving, too.
The Lord has blessed us with a truly wonderful family here and we are grateful for each and everyone of you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to settle in and not leave my new house for at least a week.
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The Lamb – A Sorta, Kinda Review
March 11th, 2010 |Posted In: A Quick Word from The Bible, Blog Content
So, whilst my wife and I had been driving back and forth across the good state of Florida hunting for a home these last two months we’ve been listening to the Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood pal by Christopher Moore. As you can tell from the title, this book is very tongue-in-cheek.
To the best of my knowledge Christopher Moore is not a Christian and it does show in his writing. He gets a lot of new age crap mixed in with Christianity and, as a Christian, this, in addition to some of the books more sacrilegious moments, may seriously offend some people. As just a straight up funny book? It’s very funny.
The basic concept is that Biff is brought back to life in the modern day to write his gospel, which covers everything from when he and Jesus meet at age 7 to Jesus’ eventual death. Biff includes the missing years that take place before Jesus starts his mission.
Moore takes heavy liberties with the story of Christ. He casts the younger Jesus(known in the book by the literal translation of his Hebrew name as Joshua) as a typical preteen/teenager, who seems unsure of his path in life. He knows he’s the Son of God and the Messiah, he’s just not sure what he’s supposed to do. In this version of the story Jesus spends a few years as a stonecutter, not a carpenter and he and Biff befriend Mary Magdalene, who happens to be growing up in the same town as them.
Moore takes the missing years and tells a fantasy road trip story as Joshua and Biff travel to find the Three Wise Men(who have been recast as godless heathens in search of everything from immortality to inner peace), in hopes that they will impart some wisdom on how Joshua is supposed to be the Messiah. This middle part of the book is the section I have the least amount of problems with. Yes, Joshua and Biff learn about Confucius, Buddhism and Yoga, along with a few other Eastern spiritual influences. But it’s a part of time that’s open to interpretation. Plus, we find out that Judo is actually Jew-do, created and named after Joshua.
The book gets on very shaky and borderline sacrilegious ground when Moore catches up with the gospels. Rather than weaving his story in and out of what exists in the Bible, he just flat out ignores it. The Apostles are recast as bumbling idiots. Joshua’s sermons have become carefully calculated messages that are worked over weeks before and Mary Magdalene becomes the biggest nag of all time.
As I’m sure you’ve already noticed, I’ve referred to Jesus as Joshua for the bulk of this post. I did this for a very specific reason. This book is not about Jesus. Joshua is a character that has been birthed solely from Christopher Moore’s mind. Yes, he might share a few things with the Son of God, but he is a work of fiction through and through. And, in that light, the book is fine and very enjoyable. Plenty of humor and pathos. Biff is vulgar and little rough around the edges, but he is a loyal friend to Joshua.
There were a few things that really stuck in my mind when I finished the book:
The Jews really thought that Jesus was going to storm in an literally free them from the Romans. They had no comprehension of what he was really there for. How frustrating to be told for all these years that the Messiah was going to come and save us all, only to learn it was a spiritual saving and not a physical one.
Secondly, the book recounts the story of the Roman solider who sought out Jesus and asked him to heal his servant who was back at his home. Jesus said it was done and the solider left. The solider had a complete and utter faith that Jesus had healed his servant, even though he would have no proof of it for hours until he returned him. How awesome is that?
You know, yesterday morning I was talking to God and asking for His help in getting some projects going around here, seeking guidence on how to better monetize the stuff I do, and, wouldn’t you know, when I got home that night there was an email letting me know that it’s finally here: Fruitbasket from Hell for your ears!
That’s right. The Fruitbasket from Hell audiobook is now available from Audible.com. It’ll be available through Amazon and iTunes by the end of month. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know when it’s up in those stores. But, for now, you can get it from Audible for the low, low price of $6.96. That’s cheaper then most paperbacks. Go on, treat yourself and then tell all your friends how awesome this book is.
Here’s Chapter 1 for free:
Fruitbasket from Hell: Chapter 1
And people say God doesn’t answer prayers.
When you have eaten and are satisfied,
praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. (NIV)
Deuteronomy 8:10
I should have good news to share next Tuesday. Please keep us in your prayers. Till then, another book excerpt. Toodles.
Explorers of the Unknown
About the book:
Explorers of the Unknown, the fan-favorite comic book from underdogs Matt and Nathan Roman, is about to hit its 100th issue To celebrate it’ll be switching from a monthly release schedule to a weekly one The only problem is, nobody told Matt. This is the situation Matthew Roman finds himself in upon returning from his honeymoon. This and his brother sleeping around with half the town’s female population. He’s, at best, agitated, and that’s putting it mildly. And thus begins our tale of two brothers, comic books, and newlyweds. . .
CHRISTIAN FICTION
Chapter 1 after the break.
Call me lazy, but I’ve got nothing to share today. Actually, call me a liar, because I just remembered what I was going to write about.
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First, this Saturday, I’ll be running another contest on the Rupert & Me Facebook page. These are the details:
We’ll be giving away one of two books: Reflections of the Pink Elephant or Explorers of the Unknown. These are printed, 1st edition copies, not ebooks. First become a fan of Rupert & Me. Then, once you’re a fan, I want you to pick the book you’d like to get. Then post name of the novel, and it’s Amazon link, on your Facebook status. Then, on Rupert’s Facebook page, let me know that you’ve posted. On Sunday I’ll take all the entered names and the order in which they were entered and plug them into a magical randomizer at random.org. The winner will get their chosen book, signed and personalized by yours truly. If you don’t win this week, fret not, ’cause we’ll have another contest next week!
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Second, did you read the special superbowl strip I did on Sunday?
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Third, my wife and I have put in another offer on another house (I think this is number 6). We both feel really good and very strongly about this place. We just ask that you keep us in your prayers. We would love for this deal to go through and, just as quickly, get a buyer for our condo. Please pray with us.
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Fourth, and finally, we had an XTREMELY AWESOME month of book sales in January! Praise God! We sold over 50 books combined between all the novels. I know that February is going to be even better.
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Fifth(guess I lied again), I finally convinced my wife to watch Smallville starting from season 1. Some of this early stuff is laughably bad. She’s already asking if Chloe dies early on. I quickly broke the news that Chloe, outside of Clark Kent, is the only character to make it all the way through the show. My wife looked so heart broken. I honestly don’t know if we’ll get all the way through.
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Sixth, and really, this is the last one, promise. We have this neighbor who has been playing loud music almost every night at 1 in the morning. After politely asking her to turn her music down we discovered that her husband had recently passed away. Based on her abrasive behavior and the fact that she seems to have a history of alcohol abuse, she does not appear to be handling this well. Please just keep this woman in your prayers, she can use all the help she can get.
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Okay. That’s it. See you later.
