Ahhh, it’s that time of year again. The holidays are upon us. Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years. It’s the happiest time of the year, right? Happy times and smiles all around! Weeeee!!! Everyone loves the holidays!
Well, I don’t. In fact, if I may be so bold to say, I almost downright hate this time of year. Would you like to know why? I’ll tell you. It comes down to one word:
Family.
I know it’s become a cliché by this time. Problems with family during the holidays. Everybody has to deal with it. So what? Well, here’s my question: Why? Why are we even having any problems? If it is supposed to be the happiest time of the year why does it get marred with family squabbles? Why do families insist on fighting over where to spend Thanksgiving? Or Hanukah? Or Christmas? Why aren’t people allowed to make their own decisions about what they want to do without fear of reprisals or attacks? Because it’s the holidays and you’re supposed to spend it with family?
Okay, fine. But if assuming you’re not single, who’s family are you going to spend the holidays with? Assuming you can’t spend it with both, what do you do? Hop around to different homes for multiple turkeys and gift unwrapping? And what if your two families aren’t in the same city? Hard decisions have to be made and no matter what you do, someone is going to feel offended and/or slighted. Because it’s the holidays and you’re supposed to spend it with family.
Well, what about the fact that couples have two families? His and hers. Or what about couples with children who don’t particularly feel like lugging the kids all over God’s creation? I suppose a simple solution would be sharing, one year with this family, another with that family. That seems reasonable. Except someone won’t think it is and then come the guilt trips. Or, if you’re really special, outright attacks over your holiday plans. And then you feel miserable because you can’t apparently please anyone during the holidays.
We’re told day after day that holidays are supposed to bring out our selfless sides, but really it’s the exact opposite. Have you ever seen people act more selfish than around the holidays? Me, me, me, pay attention to me!
It seems to me that the holidays have become an excuse to air family grievances that nobody could be bothered to deal with any other time during the year. And if you couldn’t be bothered to deal with it at any other time during the year why are you dealing with it now?
A family is a collection of relationships. And like everything else, relationships take work. They just don’t fall into place magically and certainly not when the holidays come around (don’t believe everything you see in the movies). So either you’ve been working on those relationships all year long or haven’t. End of story. Don’t use the holidays as an excuse to bemoan the fact that all you do with your family is fight.
The holidays are supposed to be a happy time, at least that’s what everyone keeps telling me. So this is what I suggest:
If you have issues with your family, deal with them before the holidays. Don’t wait until you hear your brother/sister/mother/father/uncle/whatever isn’t joining you for Thanksgiving/Hanukah/Christmas/whatever and call them up laying on world class guilt trip and/or screaming at them about how they’ve abandoned you. ‘Cause, let’s be honest, if it really bothered you, you wouldn’t have waited till now to bring it up.
If someone isn’t going to spend the holidays with you, I ask you to suck up your “disappointment” and take it like an adult. That means no throwing temper tantrums. Because, come on, it’s the holidays. It is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. And isn’t it enough that you waited until the last minute to buy all those gifts? Do you really need to add family drama to the mix?
I agree that Family is the best way to ruin a family get together and to agree futher with your statement i’m going to talk about me, me me. I currently spend Christmas with my family which means both my mothers side of the family and my fathers side of the family. So we are talking Lunch up at my parents place for Lunch with my mothers side then a 90 minute drive to my cousins place for dinner with my fathers side of the family. Added to this comes my Girlfriend who also has family commitments. Luckily for us (or not so luckily depending on when you ask me), her faith (Russian orthodox) celebrates Christmas in January. So we don’t have to see her family in december, but it means we have to do the whole thing again in january so the whole ordeal lasts for weeks. I swear if i didn’t love the smell of freshly cut pine tree in the living room or the look on my young cousins faces as they attempt to play Guitar hero for hours on end, I would give up on the whole season and spend the day somewhere air-conditioned with a beer in my hand and some form of Aussie sport on the TV, but family is family and if you can’t choose them then I guess you have to be the bigger person and deal with them for 1 day out of the year (or 2 or three as the case may be)
If only there was a way to have a family get together without the family….
But, hey, starting the year and ending the year with Christmas? It doesn’t get any better than that! Do you at least double the gifts?